Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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