just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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