Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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