Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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