porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend