Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?