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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

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• (516): View more from New York

  Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.

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