i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.