Only a mothe r could love this liver
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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