ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
