I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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