it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
