Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
