If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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