you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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