are you still at the devil's house?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
