O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
