i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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