what day is it and did you see me today?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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