We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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