if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
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Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
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I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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