I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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