Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize