I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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