I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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