so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
