Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
