she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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