If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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