I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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