He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
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i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
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This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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