that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
