so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
