Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
