Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
