dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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