its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
