Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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