I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
