so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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