I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
