you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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