Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
