girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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