i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize