i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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