I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
