Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
