You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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