Define "chronic" masturbator.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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