Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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