Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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