we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
