So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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