who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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