so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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