I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
