What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
