I think I am morally bankrupt
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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