Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
