Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
