I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize