with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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