Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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