found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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