why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
