I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
