come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
